Crocodile Dundee Not!

An Australian man has told how he spent a week up a tree in a crocodile infested swamp and lived to tell the tale.
Cape York stockman David George was finally rescued by helicopter in the bush near Coen, in remote far north Queensland. Dazed and bleeding after a tumble from his horse, Mr George found himself in the heart of a swamp then fell right into a crocodile nest.
"I couldn't go back, it was too far and too dangerous, so I headed to the nearest high ground and stayed there, hoping someone would come and find me before the crocs did," he said. He tried in vain to attract the attention of airborne search teams, including flashing sunlight off his tobacco tin, waving his shirt on a stick and spreading toilet paper in the tree branches. Three days into his ordeal his food supply of two meat sandwiches was gone.
"Every night I was stalked by two crocs who would sit at the bottom of the tree staring up at me," I'd yell out at them, "I'm not falling out of this tree for you bastards".
On the eighth day of his ordeal, the missing stockman was found after a search involving the Australian Army, police and Aboriginal trackers.

17% Pick Nose While Driving

Everyone knows not to drink and drive, but you shouldn't pick your nose and drive either.
According to a recent survey in the US, 17 percent of Americans admit they've nearly caused a car crash because they were picking their nose while driving. The survey also found that twice as many men pick their nose while driving than woman. Other near-collision driving activities mentioned in the survey include spilling hot coffee, knocking ashes off a cigar or cigarette and applying makeup.

Cheeky Monkey in Mississippi!

A monkey that freed himself two weeks ago from a Mississippi zoo has escaped again.
Tupelo Buffalo Park Zoo employees noticed the white-faced capuchin's cage open and lock on the ground around 8:30 a.m. Escapee Oliver and another capuchin named Baby were found wandering nearby. Workers easily captured Baby, but Oliver fled the park headed in the direction of the Tupelo Country Club.
The 9 year old monkey escaped in July and led staff on a chase through the park before eventually eluding them.
He was finally caught some 7 days later at a nearby Masonry.
This marks the third time Oliver has escaped from the zoo. About six-years ago the monkey escaped and ran amok on the grounds of Tupelo Country Club before being captured and returned to the zoo.

Obviously Mad as well as Blind

An Estonian man who was caught driving a car even though he is blind has been at it again, and this time faces jail. Police arrested the man a week earlier whilst also driving drunk and carrying 3 passengers who were giving him instructions. Police wanted the court to jail the man for 30 days and confiscate his car.